So I have been home in "the village" for a little over a week. I have been soaking up the sun, going for long walks around the neighborhood, catching up on movies and tv shows, and eating a lot of Mexican and avocado themed foods. I'm headed to camp in three days! SOOOO exciting.
But I think I'm starting to run there.
.... Basically. Ish hit the fan at home. Some of my friend's actions aren't really friendly... to say the least. . . I get it, though, we are moving on. Well, now I know I am. . . . and well. My church hasn't quite felt like one of the places I come home to, maybe my membership is expiring. And my family...well they will always be my family. But home is just not quite as familiar....homey.
This is all over the place, I know. But that is fitting. I am all over the place. Literally. Part of my heart is in Italy, part is at school, part is at camp, and well of course the majority is home at the moment. So I think it is safe to say, or maybe scary to say, that my home is all over the place. I'm pretty displaced.
Yes, Lord. I know this is the perfect time. for You to be my home, my comfort, my heart holder..... and as I look at all the ish that surrounds this place at the moment, (awful imagery), I realize here lies Your glory. Sick..... but really.
God has spoken to my reluctant ears in several ways today:
Today's reading in Oswald Chambers' "My utmost for His highest" is titled "The delight of despair." The passage concludes with this "if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. God can do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanly possible, allowing Him to do the impossible."
A friend texted me today reminding me that God's strength is in our weakness. He also said this as he prayed for me via text "I pray that you give her strength.... I'm afraid her heart is hurt and she may fall away from you" (because of all the ish) "but I pray that she desperately seeks you with all her heart and I pray you will please her for that."
God, please answer his prayer. You are in the mist of the ish.... YOU are in my heart. You (home) are where the heart is.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
where the heart is
Posted by Tricia Booser at 5:27 PM
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2 comments:
WUDDUP!
I was listening to a sermon by Dan Seaborn. He was speaking at a Promise Keepers convention and he said something that reminded me of your post.
He said that God looks for people when they are weak and feel like nothing. He can use them the most because they are not full of themselves. I loved it and thought it to be pretty true. It struck me in a very sensitive way I think, because I realized how full of myself I really was, and it's a process of humiliating yourself, even before the Lord.
Chin UP! I'm praying for you and He's loving you. Put on that armor babycakes :)
hey t-booz,
giirl, there is no place, no circumstance, no person, and no event that will get away with mocking God. He is supreme ruler over everything, even your displaced and confused heart. Now is when you learn about the strength of His foundation and the peace of his refuge. It is really really difficult to worship God as he demands more and more of us with seemingly less in return, but remember that NOTHING is worth comparing to the glory awaiting us as we run after Jesus.
He is good. He is here.
and i love you :)
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