those who can't do....

i have come to realize this semester that a good professor can really challenge you in all areas of your life outside the walls of the classroom; but a whiny professor is a challenge.

"i have over 100 emails in my inbox," "i have a lot of papers to grade" "i have to bring up the powerpoint i wrote 7 years ago and review it before i come to class"

the worst part about some of these lines is that they are used as excuses for why they have come to class unprepared.

don't get me wrong. i complain. i am a complainer. i do want your sympathy for how much i have to do in college, but what i don't ask for is extensions. so i do not understand one particular professor's 4 week response delay to an email i sent. and i believe there is a quite obvious difference between the employed party here and the, well me. so here is my bitter, sarcastic, juvenile, mock, email to professor____.

Dear Prof ____.
You are wonderful.

Go ahead and take your time getting back to the three emails I sent you regarding my grade. It's fine, really. I know that answering emails from students is very difficult, especially when they have written you in regards to your lecture that made no sense, your test score error, or your inability to post important course items online. I would not want to deal with it either. But might I suggest that next time you address your delayed response level that you exaggerate a tad more. By saying you have "100 emails in your inbox" I assume (and prove me wrong, I dare you- email me the right answer) that you have actually spent your office hours counting the number of emails in your inbox instead of responding. Another helpful tip would be to have an auto response sent out to all students saying "I do not actually know this information." It may save you a lot of time of telling us you will eventually respond when we know you will not. Also, might I suggest that you not allow questions during class? It is an awkward time for us students when you refuse to answer questions by sharing a story from twelve years ago, or saying a nice cliche. It would be better to have the students email you questions, and this way your auto-response can kick in. See, every cloud does have a silver lining. Problem solved.... well averted. Finally, I would suggest throwing out the time in class when you say "this is just my personal opinion, it is not fact." First of all, you usually do not need to preference this to many of your statements. Your statements would never be taken as fact. They are illogical and often irrelevant. They often involve two cliches awkwardly thrown together. Secondly, we would rather not hear your opinion. We would rather you explain dead experts' opinions in the field who physically are unable to respond to our emails. Well, that is really all I had to say. I appreciate your time you took to read this entire email instead of the first and last sentence:

I love your class.
~your student.